


diet mountain dew

by blessed_image



Series: bury a friend: umbrella academy fics [14]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Agender Number Five | The Boy, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Dialogue Heavy, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Nap, Family Bonding, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hhhhhh, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Let Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) Say Fuck, Mental Instability, Morality, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Pursuit, Right now, Violence, Weapons, hi, how tf do i tag this uhh, make that a fucking tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-04 21:40:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18352244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessed_image/pseuds/blessed_image
Summary: There’s something that Five wants back. They drag their brothers along with them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im never promisinf u guys ever again i am so sorry for temporarily dying but my mental and physical health reallt done fucked up my last week

Five was at his door.

 

Five was at his door, with crossed arms and a harsh glare that bore into Klaus’ soul so intensely that he could feel himself growing smaller by the second. It had been a few seconds since the shorter had kicked it open, not saying a word as the two (alive) occupants of the room just stare at eachother.

 

Ben, sat on the windowsill in obvious confusion and discomfort, slides his view between the two of them with a pout decorating his face. Five did interrupt him, after all.

 

“Klaus.” They say after a little longer, ignoring Diego behind them; watching from outside the door with clear skepticism on his face. “You’re morally ambiguous, let’s go on a trip together.” They finish, a smile that Klaus presumed they thought was pleasant made way onto their expression.

 

He made a mental note to inform Five that the smile was, in fact, not pleasant at all.

 

“Uhhh...” Diego technically spoke up, raising a singular eyebrow. “What the fuck are you doing?”

 

Five rolls their eyes, looking over their shoulder to turn their gaze to a different brother; sneering before their body jolts randomly.

 

“Ah!” they startle themself, pointing at Diego with a scarily slender finger. “You’re pretty fucked up, too! Me, you, Klaus and Ben are going on a ride.” they rush past him, going down the stairs with such enthusiasm that they could rival Klaus. Or a child. Ha.

 

“What?” Klaus whispers, turning to Ben- who shrugs. “What the fuck?” Diego shrugs, too, following the direction that Five ran off in. “Ben, am I fucking dreaming? Am I high? I thought I told you to keep me sober!” Said brother raises his eyebrows.

 

“You’re not high, Klaus.” he states, monotonous but with a hint of annoyance, quick to get onto his feet to go to where the others had grouped up downstairs. Klaus looks around the room and sighs.

 

“I’m not even dressed.” he huffs, peeling himself off the bed to pick up a random skirt and a crop top; pulling them on with no care as he stares at his shoe rack for a few seconds- deciding on a pair of black stilettos. Because, if it’s Five who arranged this outing, then chances are he’s gonna be doing some fucked up shit. And he wants to look somewhat good for when he gets arrested.

 

Jogging out towards the ugly minivan that was stationed just outside the house, he tries not to drop the makeup he decided he would do in the car mirror. Handing the objects clumsily to Diego, who drops a few items on his lap at the sudden weight of it all- he climbs in the back.

 

Five’s glare comes back.

 

“You don’t _need_ it.” they grit out, jaw locked. Klaus looks at them briefly as he searches through all the shit he had handed to Diego.

 

“Aww, danke!” he smiles lazily, eyes shining brightly as he sits back and pours some of the primer he had picked out onto his palm. “I know I don’t need it, Five-o, I just want it!”

 

Diego huffs, Five scowls; the seemingly thirteen year old pressing down on the acceleration of the car, sending the group off. Ben hums, before frowning.

 

“Shouldn’t Diego drive? Just in case we get pulled over?” he asks, eyes not leaving Five- whose feet could hardly reach the pedals, and whose eyes could barely see over the steering wheel. “You’re all going to _die_.”

 

Klaus chuckles joyfully, smacking at the air around his deceased brother.

 

“We’ll be fine!” he replies, throwing the tube in his hand to the back of the van so that he could grab a random eyeshadow pallete off of Diego’s lap. “If anything, there’s more chance of us dying if Diego drove.” mentioned man throws his whole body around at the words, and Klaus genuinely believes he got whiplash from the action.

 

“Hey!” he exclaims, watching as Klaus completely dismisses his protest by covering his eyelids in purple. He clicks his tongue as he rolls his head to stare at the other living occupant of the vehicle. “Five, where are we going?”

 

He’s ignored again.

 

Gaping, he pokes at their shoulder, raising his eyebrows at the hand that is used to swat his hand away. Five takes a swift glance at their brother, before breathing heavily out of their nose.

 

“There’s this bitch who I wanna talk to.” is what they tell him, leaning away from Klaus’ hand that snatches the eyeliner from Diego. “Has something of mine.”

 

Klaus paints a thick wing on his left eye, crying silently when the right one gets fucked up.

 

“Huh.” Is all that Diego replies before he realises Five won’t respond to that. “Is talk code for kill?” He presses on, brushing his fingers against the soft fur decorating a pallete on his thigh.

 

The car goes silent, besides the ticking of the indicator to turn right.

 

“Depends on whether or not he complies.”

 

Diego nods, taking in the words of his most immoral sibling.

 

“Oooh, scary.” The more lanky brother notes aloud, a new lazy smile making way onto his face as he replaces eyeliner tube with a lipstick. Painting his lips with the plum shade, he watches Ben; who was staring out the window. “Ben says you need to be careful.”

 

The mentioned turns to him, eyebrows furrowed and a clear ‘please shut the fuck up’ being conveyed through his eyes. Klaus just didn’t pay attention to it.

 

“Ben needs to mind his own business.” They pipe up from the drivers seat, scoffing. Klaus processes this response for a few seconds, smile vanishing as he notices Ben go tense in his peripheral vision.

 

“Ben says his family is his business.” Five makes eye contact with Klaus through the rearview mirror, eyes darker than they were a few seconds ago. They return their gaze to the road, face contemplative before the car comes to a sudden halt.

 

“We’re here.” Is what they supply to their brothers, who exchange worried glances at the crack in their voice. Hopping out the car and slamming the door, Five stares at a run down apartment complex; it was dirty, ivy covering almost every inch of it and mold had made a home, too. They waited for about a second until they ripped open the van door again to shout: “Get the fuck out already!”

 

Klaus fumbles for the door and Diego sighs dramatically as he also opens his own. Five jogs into the building, into a small and grimy lobby- not even bothering to smile at the receptionist. They storm up to her and slam a hand on the bell, smiling that terrifying smile at the startled woman.

 

“Kirchstein. What room is he in?” they say without any expression, not letting their eyes leave her even when Diego and Klaus stand next to them. The woman just blinks. “Hello? Anyone home? Kirchstein!”

 

Klaus tuts at the rudeness, watching as she stumbles to open up the lodgings. She looks up at the strangers staring down at her, whimpering a “152, third floor, on the left”. Five rolls their eyes, walking towards the elevator with annoyance- pulling at a strand of hair and curling it around their finger in a tick of impatience. They let go of the lock once they press the obnoxiously bright red 3 on the number panel, watching it retreat out of their sight as the metal lift creaks.

 

“That’s only slightly worrying.” Diego says after a second of the none-stop groaning. Klaus hums in agreement, and Ben huffs.

 

Once stepping out of the shaft, Klaus holds up his two hands in the shape of Ls. Nodding to his left after figuring it out, Five shakes their head as they push past him in a rush.

 

“There’s no need to run, baby sib’!” Ignoring the glare he gets for that, he continues. “You might slip!”

 

“It’s a fucking carpet, you buffoon.” Five seethes, not even giving enough shits to look at their brother- who was now gaping in mock offense. They were too busy whipping their head from side to side, checking the number plate of each door before coming to a stop in front of a certain one. “152.” they clarify.

 

“So, we just-“ Diego starts, only to be cut off by Five kicking the door down with two efficient kicks. “Never-fucking-mind!” he gives up, throwing his hands up.

 

The room is empty for the most part, clothes scattered on the floor and beer cans littered everywhere. Five scowls, they always did hate litterers. Klaus whistles, eyeing the broken door with much amazement; whether that was fake or not, was a different question. Ben appeared next to the bed, and Klaus grabs Five by the blazer when he points down at it.

 

The smaller of the two glowers at him, until they notice what Klaus was looking at; catching the attention of Diego, too, who decided to grab two knives out of his getup. Sneaking up to the bed, he flips the weapons in both hands- nodding at Five, who removes the duvet cover quickly off of a lump underneath. Klaus grips his shirt, material scrunching up in his hand as his other fist comes up to cover his eyes. Diego’s breath hitches.

 

There’s nothing in the bed.

 

But there is a bang as the bathroom door hits the wall upon it’s opening, a man standing at it with obvious surprise. Diego flips the knives again, and starts to rush to the person; stopping when Five lifts a pistol out of their shorts.

 

“What the fuck!” He shouts, and Klaus lowers his hand from his eyes. “Five, why the fuck do you have a gun?”

 

“Precaution?” they question, obviously confused at what Diego had said. The man raises his hands in obvious surrender, eyes blown wide as he stares down at the actual child with an actual gun.

 

“I haven’t robbed any banks! Or stolen any identities!” The stranger makes out past his nervousness, sweat covering his brow. Five’s gun lowers slightly, confused at his defense.

 

“What?” they ask in exasperation. “No! This is about Jacques.” The man’s eyes light up at the name.

 

“Oh! Uh, what about him?”

 

The gun isn’t aimed anymore, but is instead up to Five’s own chest as they speak.

 

“He has something of mine. Valuable.” They say, words punctuated by the hitting of the weapon against their chest. Diego winces at the sight, but doesn’t say anything. Hopefully, the safety was on.

 

It wasn’t. But he doesn’t need to know that, really.

 

“Oh. Then why are you here?” Kirchstein watches them strangely, narrowed blue eyes not quite concerned for Five- but instead worried about the fact that, if thrown about enough in physical expression, then he could probably be shot. Accident or not. “No offense but I’m not Jacques, and i’m pretty sure you know that.” Five nods lazily, head bobbing all over the place.

 

“Where is he?” they fume, pistol still being held carelessly.

 

“Not here.”

 

Klaus snorts, Ben laughs at the misfortune of having such a braindead person to give them all facts about something so important to a shortfused individual like Five.

 

“Oh my fucking God.” Diego groans, shoving his palms into his eyes after putting away the knives he held beforehand. Five laughs intimidatingly.

 

“Listen, Kirchstein, I just put a tracker on the wrong car-“ they say, anger lacing their voice so thickly that even Ben feels terrified for his life. And he doesn’t even have one of those anymore.

 

“There’s a tracker on my car?” Kirchstein asks. The room goes silent because, holy shit, this guy just interrupted a pissed off Five. And pissed off Five was honestly the scariest thing anyone had ever witnessed, fuck the apocalypse- Five was the thing to be alarmed about. They all blink at him.

 

“Irrelevant. Tell me where Jacques is, and you can live.” Five says slowly, as if speaking to an infant.

 

“Oh. Okay, yeah, try The White Lamb. It’s a bar in the red light district.” The man before them smiles, turning his back to them all.

 

“Oh, shit, haven’t been there in a while.” Klaus laughs. His siblings turn to him. “What?” They all shake their heads, and Five raises a shaking hand to the bridge of their nose and rubs.

 

The gun was being put back into their shorts, and Diego definitely is praying the safety is on because holy fuck is that not safe.

 

“Fine.” The shortest speaks, still rubbing as if a headache had formed. Kirchstein hums.

 

“That’s it?”

 

“Yes?” Five asks, oblivious to the way he looks at the door; only noticing when Diego clears his throat and nods to it. “Oh, sorry about the door.” is what they reply, making their way over to the broken-in entrance.

 

They walk out.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five finds Jacques. Bit of a dickhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not dead. last chapter up tomorrow.

“The White Lamb!” Klaus shouts at the building before them all, arms outstretched and wide. Everyone ignores him, eyes scanning the building in equally calculating ways. He frowns. “I can’t believe I found this place for you all, and yet! You ignore me! That’s literally the opposite of what _functioning_ families do-“

 

“Klaus.” Ben grits out, staring at his brother out the corner of his eyes. “You’ve been here before?”

 

Of course the other two cannot hear him, but they do understand that their brother’s long silences are a product of Ben speaking to him. And they definitely understood that he was interrogating Klaus, with raised eyebrows and expectant pauses in their actions. Diego and Five were both still turned to the bar, cracked white paint against brick, but they were obviously listening out for him to say something. Klaus pouts.

 

“Do you really need to ask that?” Ben huffs at the question. “Of course I know this place, this is the _red_ _light_ _district_ and I am _me_.” Five rolls their eyes, Diego sighs. 

 

“How are you even still alive?” The latter whispers under his breath, looking down at his shoes. 

 

“Well, Diego dear, there’s this thing called ambulances-“ he’s cut off by the crash of glass, and a thump on the ground. Blinking, the quartet of Hargreeves stare at the man who had just fallen out of a first story window in complete and utter silence. 

 

“What the fuck, George!” the stranger shouts, thick french accent making the words somewhat hard to work out. Plus, the fact he had somehow fallen out of and smashed a window of the first floor. He seems to realise people are watching when he rests his head against the concrete pavement; quickly standing up.

 

Five clears their throat, eyes somewhat still wide in surprise. 

 

“Are you Jacques?” they ask, growing suspicious at the way he tenses at the name. He looks up at them, eyes scanning the seemingly thirteen year old child in front of him. He slides his eyes over to Diego.

 

“This your kid?” The mystery man asks, pointing at Five as if they weren’t listening in on the conversation- Diego chokes. Klaus laughs. Ben smirks.

 

“Wh- No!” he forces out as fast as humanly possible, voice notably higher. “Just answer the question!” 

 

“Who’s asking?” man who is possibly Jacques inquires, eyes not leaving Diego; maybe checking out the wild gear he was wearing. 

 

“Us, asshole!” Klaus states loudly, giggling at Ben’s glare. He was taking this too seriously. The man gapes at him, snapping his jaw shut with an obnoxious noise- before he looks back at Five in contemplation. 

 

Diego doesn’t like that look.

 

“No, I’m not-“ he’s interrupted by another man bursting out of the bar’s entrance doors; happy-go-lucky grin almost blinding Klaus. 

 

Man freaks out visibly, hands coming up swiftly and shaking in the universal stop sign motion. This other guy is oblivious, running up to Man to tackle him into a one-arm hug. 

 

“Hey, Jacques!” he slurs, and Jacques slumps; nodding lazily at Five’s ‘you were about to say?’ look. “W’as up, buddy? Who’re your fr’nds?” Klaus raises a hand to his chest in mock offense.

 

“Did he just call me a whore?” he questions to Ben, who rolls his eyes and attempts to shove at his brother. 

 

A harsh, cruel part of Klaus’ brain reminds him that the touches will never be felt. Klaus ignores those parts. So does Ben. Listening to those voices are what landed him in a lot of fucked up situations, Klaus would much rather just listen to his brother instead.

 

Jacques sighs in exasperation, tugging his friend closer to his side as if he would run away if he didn’t.

 

“Okay, yes, I’m Jacques. If I just so happened to use your pictures when catfishing someone for nudes or bank details; then I am sincerely sorry.” His tone was not sincere. Or sorry. 

 

“No. I’m looking for something.” Five scowls, and Klaus honest-to-God thinks it’s their preset expression. As if this world was just an elaborate sims game, and the player just made their expression a natural frown.

 

Bitch face to the extreme.

 

“Oh?” Jacques replies, amusement lacing his voice. He looks Five up and down.

 

Diego really doesn’t like that.

 

“Five, get to it before I stab this guy’s dog.” he says, words rough as they make through a clenched jaw and grating teeth. They roll their eyes at the demand, and lift a picture out of their short’s pocket- lifting it to Jacques’ line of vision, face stoic as they wait for an answer.

 

He looks thoughtful, mouth drawn into a half pout as a finger is lifted to his chin. After a second, he nods and lets go of his drunk friend. Five straightens up at the action, ready to finally get what they were looking for; ready to fight if necessary, but half expecting Jacques to just give it to them. Klaus wonders what it is they’re searching for. 

 

“Yeah, sold it for drugs.” The french man waves them all off, turning on his heel. “Sorry.” 

 

Five grabs his jacket, and Klaus didn’t know what he was expecting; but it definitely wasn’t his youngest-oldest sibling pulling down an easily 6’0 man to hold a gun to the underside of his chin. Diego groans, muttering a ‘christ, this again?’ under his breath as Klaus steps back. Ben seems to have taken a seat on top of the van.Just needs the popcorn now.

 

“What do you mean: you sold it for drugs?!” they shout, jamming the weapon into his skin- the other man from the bar stumbles backwards and rushes into the bar, shouting for help. “Who the fuck did you sell it to?”

 

“Holy shit!” Jacques screams, cowering at the sensation of cold metal. “Your kid’s fucking insane!” he directs at Diego, who just thins out his lips. 

 

“Shut it, you creep.” he retorts.

 

Five’s grip on the gun is readjusted once they see a group of very intoxicated men pour out of the bar doors, and Klaus compares them to zombies- Ben shakes his head, and Diego smacks his shoulder lightheartedly. Jacques swallows, following their line of sight, before smirking.

 

“What you gonna do, kid?” he puts on an act of false bravado, but the quartet can cleary see the beads of sweat lining his brow. “You gonna shoot me?” 

 

Five smiles. 

 

Jesus Christ, Ben really needs to remind Klaus to tell them not to do that. Or to at least teach them how to do it properly. Maybe it’s a scare tactic? It’s effective either way, because Jacques whimpers. 

 

“Yes.” They reply with ice, tilting their head to the side slightly. “Tell me who you sold to, and maybe I’ll reconsider.” 

 

The taller man nods frantically, putting a hand up to put a halt to the oncoming drunken men. 

 

“Her name is Maia Steward, she’ll be in the alleyway behind Peak’s club at 8PM sharp.” Five lets go of him, sharing a glare to everyone present, before ripping open the car door and throwing themself inside. Diego follows, as does Ben, but Klaus just stays watching the french man.

 

“What did you get-“ he’s interrupted by a can being thrown at his head, and he turns to see an annoyed Diego standing on the other side of the vehicle. 

 

And so they’re off again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They see Maia. They don’t really know how it went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h we done and i still dont know how i feel abt this fic but yknow what...the bonding was necessary

It was dark now, and Klaus was getting antsy. 

 

The four of them had been sat in the van watching the alleyway Jacques had directed them to, like fucking stalkers, for three hours now- and it was finally reaching 8pm. The club that was mentioned to them was lively, only just opening to the nightlife but there was tonnes of people ready to be shot up by strangers and fucked against soiled couches. Klaus remembers this place, it was gross and stunk like actual shit. However, the dealers were well equipped; and a lot of people didn’t really give a shit who it was they were sticking their dick into, so it was useful for some things. 

 

Ben puts a hand on his shoulder, smiling sadly, as Five clears their throat to catch everyone’s attention. They nod towards the alley they had been watching, a relatively short shadow filing the previously empty area. 

 

“That our girl?” Diego wonders aloud, not looking away from the suspect even when Five nods. He frowns. “She doesn’t look like a drug dealer.” Klaus scoffs.

 

“You can’t look like a drug dealer, Diego. There just drug dealers and drug takers.” he responds, hint of annoyance sharpening his tone. “That’s like saying someone doesn’t look gay.”

 

His brother furrows his brow at the comparison, shaking his head slightly.

 

“Not really?” he asks, and Klaus is about to make a witty retort only to be silenced by Five throwing themself out of the vehicle to storm off towards the alleyway. “Can they please slow down for two fucking minutes?” 

 

Ben is next to Five, dragging his feet along the asphalt road. Diego follows suit which leaves Klaus pouting at the window like a child, staring at his very uncharasmatic siblings making their way over to a verh dangerous criminal. Not quite murderer level, perhaps, but dealers are very good at defending themselves. Maybe not so much against a time travelling manchild, a guy thats good at darts but with knives and a ghost- but still. So, as the good person he is, Klaus huffs to himself and follows their lead. Hoping to avoid at least one person’s murder tonight. 

 

Once jogging over, allbeit very ungracefully due to his heels, he blinks slowly at Five’s suddenly much more brighter smile. They’re looking up at the girl, who was just a little taller than them, as she stares back down with surprise. 

 

“Uhh...” she starts, flicking her eyes between the strangers who had just walked up to her. Normally, when people did this she would have a set script to play out; but a child and two adults were not her usual customers. “What do you want?”

 

Five’s smile fades, and they look physically worn out by having to hold such an expression for longer than two seconds. Diego speaks up.

 

“Jacques told us to come find you.” he states, raising an eyebrow at how she visibly relaxes at the name. “Said he sold you something of ours.” he ignores the way his shorter sibling nudges him in the ribs slightly for taking their spotlight, and Klaus clears his throat. Maia looks at him.

 

“What did you sell him-“

 

“Klaus!” Five interrupts him, glowering. They take the picture they had shown to Jacques out of their pocket, swallowing when she thins out her lips- narrowing her eyes. “You got it still?”

 

After a few seconds of waiting, she smiles kindly. Not a good sign.

 

“Of course.” Maia whispers. “I’ll just go get it.” And so she turns her back, searching through her bag with an obnoxious rattling noise. Klaus and Diego make eye contact, sharing eachothers worries without words. Ben stalks over to watch what she is getting out, glaring down at the mass of plastic bags. 

 

“All I can see are drugs.” he sighs, leaning back to cross his arms and roll his neck to look at Klaus. “Drugs. Some more drugs. A few more drugs. And then, lastly, drugs.” 

 

He smiles at Ben, and can see Diego look at him quizzically; so he slides his eyes over to him and shrugs. Five is staring at her without blinking, to make sure they aren’t caught off guard. Their deceased brother chuckles at the pure concentration on their face. Then there is a click.

 

“Why do you want it?” Maia questions, back still turned to them all yet she has stopped rummaging through her belongings. Diego puts a hand on a knife stashed away at his hip, as Klaus straightens up.

 

Five hums. “It’s mine. I want it back is all.” they haven’t shuffled on their feet at all, and they don’t look to troubled at the girl’s suspicious behaviour.

 

Klaus presumes they either don’t expect anything, or they’re already prepared. Probably the latter knowing them.

 

“Can I ask a question?” she asks. “Did you really expect me to just hand it over?” Klaus startles.

 

Ben is whistling beside him, Diego whips out a blade and Five doesn’t even flinch even though there is a gun aimed steady right between their eyes. They just purse their lips and blink. 

 

“Whaaatt are you doing?” Klaus says slowly, voice high-pitched and confused. 

 

“I’m not just going to hand it over.” she clarifies, and Five groans.

 

“It’s not even that big of a deal!” they raise their voice, holding the bridge of their nose in stress. They push away the weapon held to them, much to Maia’s protest, and run a hand through their hair. “Literally what are you doing.” is what they whisper to finish, a question coming out more like a statement due to being pissed off.

 

Maia raises the gun again, this time aimed at Klaus- who raises his hands up in surrender. He wasn’t even doing anything! Just a bystander! 

 

Diego brings the knife in his hand up higher, ready to slice if necessary. She raises an eyebrow at this, but doesn’t pull away. Five rolls their eyes.

 

“Are you being serious?” they ask. “Klaus? Really?” ignoring their brothers whine at that, they pull at her wrist- to no avail, since she just shrugs them off with a sneer. At this, they pull the gun from before out again for the third time today; and at this point, no one but Maia is suprised. 

 

She sends daggers with her eyes, cutting into their soul harshly as they hold their own offense up to her. Luckily, they aren’t too short in comparison to her; allowing for Five’s attempt at threatening her to be as intimidating as possible. 

 

Her jaw sets, gritting teeth as she stiffens her body. Obviously, she hadn’t expected such a young person to click off the safety to what definitely is not a nerf gun against the skin of her skull. Klaus knows Five won’t let anything happen to him, so he allows himself to smile lazily at the girl before him. She was easily not even 20 years of age yet, maybe 18. Maybe younger. Sad reality is that a lot of kids not even old enough to drink alcohol end up selling cocaine or whatever. God knows Klaus was in that position.

 

“You let your kid have a gun?” she enquires, eyes still trained on Klaus’. 

 

He giggles.

 

“Sibling. And you better apologise for calling them a kid.” he supplies her, nodding to the side that Five was occupying- their glare sharper than the knife Diego has held to her other side. “They don’t like that.” she follows the look, gulping.

 

She straightens herself and blinks rapidly out of pressure. Maia smiles back at Klaus, before putting the safety back on so that she can hold it down by her side instead. He breathes heavily out of his nose shakily; turning his head to Five so that he can nod that it is okay now, and they hesitate before lowering their own. 

 

Maia nods in submission so that she can grab her bag, smartly deciding not to have her body facing away from them all. 

 

She pulls out a small, brown paper bag out and pushes it out towards Five; who takes it graciously, opening it up with a loud crinkling sound. They look into it, smiling, only to close it again and hold it in their hand loosely by their side. 

 

“Thank you, Maia.” is all they say, not staying to watch how her face contorts into fear, before making their way back to the van- brothers in tow. 

 

Once retaking their seats in the vehicle, Five puts the bag in Diego’s lap; eyes wide as they communicate silently to _not_ _fucking_ _open_ _it_. Klaus watches in silence as they palm at their face and shout into nothingness, startling everyone in the car. Everyone else is silent as this happens, even Ben who just sits still beside Klaus.

 

“Oh my fucking God!” they yell, oblivious to the way in which the other members of the car all sit watching them. They run their hands downwards on their cheeks, staring out of the front window. “I really just nearly shot a kid.”

 

Ben clears his throat, tilting his head to Five when Klaus gives him attention. He rolls his eyes but understands.

 

“Just don’t think about it, alright?” He says, getting offput when his sibling laughs icily. “She got the gun out first, you were just looking out for me, Five-O.” They turn violently towards him, scanning his features for something. 

 

After a few silent seconds, they nod slowly. 

 

“I know, I know. It’s just...” they trail off, gaze falling to the carpet floor of the van. “It’s fucked up, Klaus.” 

 

Everyone processes this quietly. 

 

“I’m fucked up.” Diego smiles and ruffles their hair, laughing when Five pushes at his hand so that they can glare at him. 

 

“We’re all fucked up.” he says with humour, and Five swallows whilst changing their glare into a wide-eyes. Klaus hums in agreement, flipping off Ben when he catches his gaze. 

 

They nod before looking back out to the road, dismissing Diego’s call for seat-belts as they instead press down the acceleration.

 

Yeah, they’re fucked up. But at least they’re fucked up together.

 

Hey, wait, what did Five even get-

 

**Author's Note:**

> h comments are greatly appreciated especially since its the first time ive written like this


End file.
